Co-workers, co-exist! The do’s and don’ts of working with others

By Marco Buscaglia, Tribune Content Agency
Published in the Chicago Tribune, November 29, 2020

Being a good co-worker can sometimes be as simple as bringing an occasional batch of homemade blueberry muffins to the office. But since many of us are working from home these days—and please, no blueberry muffin emojis—the bake-sale approach to winning over our co-workers is currently on hold. But if you still want to be the type of person who others actually want to work with, here are a few do’s and don’ts for how you should act toward others in the office, in-person or online. 

DO be nice: Be courteous to others and say hello when you see your peers on screen in the morning and goodbye when you leave or sign off for the day. It doesn't take much to give a nod or smile to someone you’ve worked with for 10 weeks or 10 years, and yet it’s one of the most frequent complaints about working with others.

DON’T inundate people with work-related information when you first see them in the morning. Most employees like to ease into the day without having to fend off that co-worker who won’t leave stop the online chatting until they get the response they want. In-person, it’s the equivalent of the co-workers who stands at your desk while you’re still signing onto your computer. People like their space in the morning. If anything, a little small talk can help people ease into the tasks ahead of them. Be courteous and give your associates some time to begin their day.

DO participate in company events: OK, some weeks, virtual Friday happy hours are painful but they can be an essential part of creating a solid bond between co-workers. You don't have to go to every breakout birthday celebration or after-work poker event but make sure that you're part of the workplace community. While there are plenty of social benefits to be gained from engaging with others in activities outside of work, you never know what pieces of inside information and relevant topics you can learn from speaking with your co-workers in an environment that isn't dominated by deadlines, responsibilities and upcoming projects. 

DON’T feel the need to be the life of the party: Whether you’re meeting with others online or physically out with co-workers, you don’t have to be the center of attention. Sure, that joke you heard about the farmer, the tuba player and the agile coach is hilarious but do you really want to be dropping inappropriate imagery in front of your peers? And be careful sharing your tales of weekend debauchery or marital strife. You're not hanging out with your high school buddies in the garage or sitting in a chair at the psychologist’s office. You’re either at work or at an extended version of the workday so act appropriately. Save your most personal stories for those co-workers you consider close friends.

DO be a team player: While it's always important to be a contributing member of any group or committee, it's just as important to be a concerned coworker when you’re flying solo. If someone's having trouble finishing all their work before heading off on vacation, offer to step in and take care of a few tasks. When you’re back in the office, if someone's sitting at their desk eating lunch alone each day, pull up a chair and engage in some small talk. Being a good coworker doesn’t exclude you from being a good person.

DON’T engage in office gossip: While it occasionally can be thrilling to hear tawdry stories about your boss, you're not exactly helping the dynamics of the office when you choose to dish the dirt. And it’s especially alluring in today’s invitation-only chat environment. Office gossip can be one of the biggest detriments to a cohesive, courteous working environment. And really, who cares if Charlie slept with Donna who slept with Bill who slept with Steve. What you’ve heard as a jaw-dropping event may be—and most likely is—something as unjuicy as Charlie, Donna, Bill and Steve meeting for a cup of coffee at Starbucks.  

DO the small things: If you volunteer or are asked to do something, do it. And if necessary, track your work. Not to the point of being annoying but as a courtesy to others to let them know what they needed to be completed is now complete.

DON’T pass the buck: If you screwed up, let other people know that you’re to blame and apologize. And then work to make things right. Then, when given the chance to do something similar in the future, be sure to knock it out of the park. There are few things more disheartening than working with people who refuse to be accountable for their mistakes. Spare your peers the unproductive finger-pointing sessions and own your actions. 

DON’T avoid direct communications: Don’t rely on cc’d emails or she-said-she’d-tell-you approaches to telling others what you need, what you’re working on or what’s holding you back. In an online environment, workers are often tempted to take a passive-aggressive approach to their relationship with others, especially when there’s some tension. Why pick up the phone and call someone to work out an issue when you can send a pointed group email that singles out one person for behavior that’s may be self-decided or a product of your lack of direction? Be an adult and pick up the phone. 

DO treat everyone equally: At least on the surface, avoid picking favorite. Of course, you’re going to like some people more than others but group texts, emails and video-chat inside jokes can be misconstrued by others. It’s hard to read relationships without seeing others interact each day so save the cute, asides for your personal interactions with your favorite peers.