Fake it or leave it: It’s possible to work with people you just don’t like

By Marco Buscaglia, Tribune Content Agency
Published in the Chicago Tribune, December 6, 2020

Darlene Evans, a social worker and workplace consultant based in Rochester, New York, says employees shouldn’t expect to like everyone they work with. “We think of our coworkers as our extended family, which they are,” Evans says. “And just like in a family, there are going to be people we just don’t like.” 

Evans says the difference is that as adults, we don’t have to see those family members on a daily basis that we don’t necessarily like. “You can’t avoid your co-workers, especially if you’re in the same department or involved in the same project,” Evans says. “It’s not like your sister-in-law, who you only have to see on Thanksgiving and Christmas. You have to work with these people. You can’t escape them.” 

Work through it

If you’re in a daily situation with people you can’t stand, Evans says there are ways to get past your inherent dislike for your coworkers. Here are her suggestions: 

  • Keep your distance: “You don’t have to hang with everyone in the office, whether it’s face-to-face or online,” says Evans. 

  • Be professional: “You’re working together, not planning your wedding,” Evans says. “As long as both parties remain cordial and respectful, it’s possible to accomplish work-related tasks without tearing each other to pieces.” 

  • Don’t take the relationship so seriously: You have family and friends at the end of the workday so there’s no need to clench your teeth while working. Relax, do your job and remember your priorities.

  • Use the relationship to your advantage: “There can be a competitive advantage to working with people who aren’t in your circle,” Evans says. “Some people will continually push themselves to outdo their peers, so in some settings, a little discord among co-workers can be a good thing.” 

  • Keep your feelings to yourself: “If you don’t like someone, there’s no need to broadcast your feelings to the entire office,” says Evans.

  • Seek help: Sometimes, HR will help clashing employees work through their problems. “If there is a lot of money at stake, your company is going to want to help you work things out,” Evans says. “It’s possible to work with a third party to help negotiate strategies, boundaries and more.”